Tag Archive | "Helena Kaufman"

Ready? Set? Mingle with Conversation Skills to Create Communication Success

Ready? Set? Mingle with Conversation Skills to Create Communication Success

 

Ready? Set? Mingle with Conversation Skills to Create Communication Success

Ready? Set? Mingle with Conversation Skills to Create Communication Success

Have you brought your positive attitude to our review of how to mingle and mix at an event? Then we’ll look at tips to prepare you to go in and sparkle!

Understand yourself and the kind of energy and image you can, and you want to project. The people you will interact with are capable of forming a first impression in a fraction of a second. The human brain processes the messages you send about yourself that fast. Read the full story

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Conversation Skills Create Communication Success

Conversation Skills Create Communication Success

Conversation Skills Create Communication Success

Conversation Skills Create Communication Success

How you can use conversation to attract people, ideas and opportunities to increase your business and enlarge your social network.

Welcome to a Communication Culture series on speaking and writing in response to reader requests and questions.

Guess what? Your biggest challenge is right in sync with what I’ve based 30 years of ‘putting words in people’s mouths’ as a public relations advisor and award winning marketing writer. I’ve helped people successfully sell, influence, inform and persuade others on their product or ideas. In my notebook, it all comes down to one powerful communication device: conversation.

Sure, our conversations today take other forms than what most of us grew up with. The basics, however, still apply and together, we’ll start with verbal conversations and once we’re comfortable, we’ll swing back and apply them to written conversations. OK?

Kinks in your communication roadmap!

One twist is the need for speed now. Electronic messaging, a world of 24/7 expectation of service and response is now the norm. The second big bend is culture. Culture is no longer the homogeneous majority we already belong to, aspire to belong to or even want to belong to for fear of losing our unique ‘personal platform’ and connection to our ‘other cultures’.

Your ‘group’ or hangout can be anyone or anywhere. It is glued together by common interests and usually, a voluntary sign up, or sometimes a special initiation.

You and I are together in this, regardless of our age, nationality or station in life. We want to CONNECT with others. To succeed we need to read and respond to the many cultures of interest as well as ethnicity that fill our world. We do that from the moment we ‘log in’ to life in our homes with family, with chosen friends and clients through posts on the computer or lined up for coffee with colleagues. (In time, we’ll get to all the ‘special words’ in single quotes too!)

Where to start?

Why not start with what you know? Yourself. Our recent conversations in the Communication Culture space dealt with self talk. You want to side-step any self defeating self-talk and be your own best ally in life right?

Tips to meet your current challenge

Review:

Your temporary lack of work, friends or community may lead to a confidence crisis when changing your ‘context’ like coming to a new community or even country, or to a new job or social situation. To manage your self-talk you:

1. Learn to say ‘ Stop!’ if you catch yourself doing anything to diminish yourself

2. Banish doubt

3. Court only self confidence into your consciousness

• Retrain your self-talk and reframe your responses. For example:

• “Uchhh, another party or networking meeting where I’ll be bored or feel awkward.” … becomes….”I might meet an interesting person.”

• Replace, “Going to meet those people will probably be a waste of time.” …. With … “What have I got to lose?”

Move ahead:

Next, identify your strengths. Get yourself ready to go ‘out there’ by having practice conversations with yourself. ‘See’ the place, the people. Imagine the conversations. Think about the reason for going there. See yourself:

 Set your goals for an upcoming meeting (or conversation). Do you want to speak? Ask a question?

 Reach outside your (possibly worried) personal walls and compliment or congratulate another person.

 Accept a positive word from others who may be validating you!

 Find the good conversationalists and learn from them by being actively engaged.

Up next? You and I will review how to enter, mingle and move in a room full of people with your new attitude and preparation.

VIP: Very Important Participation note! Have you got questions, suggestions or challenges you want covered in this column (anonymously) please send them to editor@theafronews.ca PUT: “Communication Culture” in the subject line. Names will not be published but ALL signed letters will get a personal reply from Helena.

 

 

 

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Criticism in the work place

How to Give Constructive Criticism – Your Mindset and Your Method of Delivery

Criticism in the work place

Criticism in the work place

Criticism in the work place is often masked as a compliment, or a helping hand. Sadly, it is not always constructive nor is it as progressive as it is thought to be by the person delivering it. Read the full story

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The Art and Advantage of Giving Compliments

The Art and Advantage of Giving Compliments

The Art and Advantage of Giving Compliments

The Art and Advantage of Giving Compliments

Did you blush when you were complimented since our last communication about the perks and pluses of ‘taking’ a compliment? Which response was yours most often? Accept or deflect? You might still be a bit shy about taking a compliment!

You were no doubt aware of the simple magic a compliment carries. So now, let’s lavish those good effects on others.  Here’s the ‘how to’ green light list on delivering a compliment:

  • Be sincere. Pick an aspect that deserves a compliment, or you’ll be outted as a phony really quickly.
  • Be aware that your compliments are a short hand validation of effort and can lift spirits. They are always socially appropriate, unlike flattery, which can be awkward.
  • Consider the context and compliment appropriately. I’ll be you’ve experienced a compliment in your general vicinity breaking the ice at work or at a party, lowering stress or being the beginning of a great bond. Give generously and easily!
  • Don’t expect a compliment in return; give as you would a gift.
  • Proceed with good taste, choosing your words well. Well timed compliments are priceless. Simple and direct is best. If the groom is handsome, for example, just say so. You can compliment him on his 97 pound of weight loss another time and place.
  • Be specific in your compliment:  A person might be a great cook, but what did you enjoy or admire most at THAT meal?

Compliments in a Business Setting

Guidelines and benefits of sincere compliments are the same in the workplace. There are, however, a few points of both advantage and caution you might want to take note of before blurting out, even the most authentic compliments. These include some basic goals and boundaries of business culture communication:

Beautiful Halle Berry

Beautiful Halle Berry

Giving Compliments in Professional Settings

  • Be memorable by being specific about what you’ve chosen to compliment.
  • Use a sincere compliment as a conversation starter.
  • Imagine the power of a complimentary question at a mixer or networking event about a tie, scarf, card choice or phrasing in their explanatory statement, for example.

Compliments and questions drive conversation. Conversation is critical in connecting in a business setting where time and impressions are limited. Questions and compliments drive conversation and establish a bond and the all important rapport to better business.

  • Consider your relationship to the person you are complimenting. It’s important as it may be seen as an unwelcome opinion. Comment on personal aspects, such as your boss’s new hair style, for example, only if you have a long-time friendship.
  • Keep your compliment brief, make it one item, say it once only and refrain from gushing.
  • Ensure that there is a reason for the compliment and not simply to make you look good.

Your Very Important Point is that while you should feel natural and positive with your compliments; refrain from laying a compliment on a customer or prospects purely on how they look. While we all want assurance that we are attractive, even in the workplace (and there will be a column dedicated to this advantage in the fall), women, in particular are sensitive to being judged on their looks. How about a compliment on something in their office or on a specific business action they did?

Go ahead! Now that you know how it feels, share the respect and resources a compliment holds. Give one today.

Got a compliment, a column idea or a question? Be proactive and send it over.


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TAN The Stories Of Ordinary Heroes

The Stories Of Ordinary Heroes In Landmark Civil Rights Case

 

TAN The Stories Of Ordinary Heroes

TAN The Stories Of Ordinary Heroes

Sometimes life delivers you a critical mission to accomplish. Then, when everyone else thinks it is done and behind, slipping quietly into history, it beckons that you revisit the place and the people who are its living witnesses, so that the past is brought to light again, for the benefit of future generations. Gordon A. Martin Jr. is a retired Massachusetts trial judge whose book “Count Them One by One: Black Mississippians Fighting for the Right to Vote,” accurately and respectfully chronicles the story of the people who challenged an unfair voting registration process and forever changed America.

An interview with The Afro News during Black History Month captured some of Judge Martin’s views and reflections from his book. Thanks to Public Affairs Department, US Consulate General Vancouver for introducing Judge Martin and his work to The Afro News and our readers.

The core story takes place in Mississippi in 1961. It revolves around the U.S. Justice Department lawsuit against voting registrar Theron Lynd. At that time 30 per cent of the population in Forrest County, Mississippi was African American, yet only 12 of 7,500 were on the voting rolls. These 12 souls braved community abuses, obstacles including denial of their rights and loss of their jobs.

“One can understand intellectually what denial of the vote to black people was – but the experience of getting to know, hard working people, some veterans, many with advanced degrees often in lesser jobs…. the real toll…can only be imagined,” said Judge Martin.

United States vs. Lynd was the first trial that resulted in the conviction of a southern registrar for contempt of court. The case became a model for other challenges to voter discrimination in the South and was influential in shaping the Voting Rights Act of 1965. Change was not immediate but it began in that decade.

On the Job

“I was like so many young people, just out of school and starting out in life with a new job. I was a young lawyer who got thrown into a particular case, underpaid, entrusted, little experience, no time to think,” said Martin.

As a newly minted lawyer, he traveled to Hattiesburg from Washington to help shape the federal case against Lynd. He met with and prepared the government’s 16 courageous black witnesses who had been refused registration, found white witnesses, and was one of the lawyers during the trial. He wasn’t alone of course. Not only was he working under a section head, supervising his learning experience, but this case had the ear and interest of powers at the top.

“Fifty years ago, the U.S. attorney general, in his first day on the job, walked into the office of his acting assistant attorney general of the Civil Rights Division, John Doar. Robert F. Kennedy wanted to know what was going on, what lawsuits were pending, how the right to vote for African-Americans would be achieved.” (excerpted)

Doar, a Wisconsin Republican, had a history in the federal administration with the Civil Rights Division, first in the Eisenhower administration and then in action as a key figure in the Kennedy Justice Department.

Together, Kennedy and Doar saw serious patterns of inequity in a map of the South. Colored pins graphically pointed to trouble in Forrest County in south-eastern Mississippi. That trouble began in 1958 when Theron Lynd was elected registrar of Forrest County. All four candidates in that election had made clear their goal to preserve the essentially all-white electorate of the county.

Process towards progress

Three years into his office, 16 African-Americans from widely diverse backgrounds were ready to testify against Lynd and his tactics to ignore, frustrate and deny the ministers, factory workers, shopkeepers, teachers with master’s degrees from such universities as Wisconsin, Columbia, Cornell and NYU to try to register. Later, one of the leaders of the black community, Vernon Dahmer, was murdered by the White Knights of the Klan for his role in voter registration.

One of the tools Lynd had at his disposal to reject bids for registration was the literacy test. The legal team, without records, came up with 16 contrasting white witnesses either registered without being required to take the literacy test or given a simple section of the state constitution to interpret.

During the trial, the witnesses testified for three days. The federal judge allowed a 30-day continuance but did not issue an injunction. This failure opened the door to appeal and the Court of Appeals agreed and entered its own order, barring discrimination. Lynd strengthened by his history of steady abuse of process violated the order within days.

The team brought three more trials, two for contempt, just to deal with that one county. From the realization that a county by county effort was ineffective, the Voting Rights Act of 1965 was brought in to abolish the literacy test and authorized federal registrars to step in. It took till the end of the decade before the shameful southern racial voting discrimination was eradicated along with individual and non standard state control of the process.

Each precious witness’s thoughts and life circumstances are fascinatingly conveyed in the book. Martin who never forgot each of those incredible people began going back to piece the past together as of 1989. More mature and with the benefit of hindsight and experience his conversation with The Afro News brought out interesting applications to today.

Current challenges and future forecasts

While Judge Martin is American and can’t speak to Canadian and international laws and specifics of experience, his journey raises some comments on our current state of affairs.

On the importance of the vote to all sectors of society

“We cannot be complacent about the access achieved then. The ballot must be intelligible to all, particularly our newest citizens. Voter ID laws must be scrutinized carefully. Felon disenfranchisement laws that are an impediment to meaningful re-entry to society should be eliminated. And each generation of new voters must recognize the efforts made by many of their forebears to be able to vote, and understand that their vote does count and may just make a difference.”

Martin is still concerned with people securing their vote and of developing a sense of belonging and community development for all sectors of the American population.

“I’m disappointed that franchise is not valued more. Kennedy worked to eliminate the great social wrong. Now what percentage of the electorate votes? What can have them value it more?”

And, just as any who sacrificed and worked to bring about change, the next immediate generations are born into it and just accept it as a birthright and normal. Martin suggests that the education and engagement starts as early as possible, certainly by high school.

“Young black people need to know their history, not just white people.”

On change

“Change that occurred in American society was phenomenal. Such change would not have been possible if black people were not allowed to vote. Some of the results began with Jesse Jackson’s activity and bid for leadership and led to Barack Obama.”

On what society is doing with the freedom they have

“Youth driven revolution in Egypt came from people being seriously disturbed by the conditions they found themselves in, not organizations, but young people. Youth support made a clear difference for Obama”

Regrettably, notes Martin, the drop off in youth vote two years later (after Obama) shows young people are not as involved. “Partly it’s the rallying cry of the campaign giving way to the harsh realities of the decisions that must be made”

The continued role of youth

People can clearly make a difference and Martin has been witness to that. “Our youth is capable of doing a lot. Political participation is open to all. Desire, motivation and understanding are needed.

In closing our conversation, Martin was quite impassioned about his experience with the exceptional people he encountered in the course of the case that formed the book. His has great encouragement for all to get involved to make a difference, noting it is not only the great names we all recognize like Martin Luther King Jr. and others. “Promotion of this book in the south allowed me to revisit the original people who stood up at great risk to vote, to be called properly by name and to brave physical harm. It has allowed all to know their story and to touch history”

“Reform,” concluded Martin, “is a word that is often misused. It is change people really mean, change per se with a direction.” A step into history might be just what is needed to go forward with a plan.

 

Chapters in the life of Judge Gordon Martin Jr.

Chapters in the life of Judge Gordon Martin Jr.

Chapters in the life of Judge Gordon Martin Jr.

If anything about a career such as Judge Martin’s illustrates it’s that we need to reframe retirement as resource rich. Our retired people are resources at large and we should all take advantage of the depth of knowledge gained only by time and applied experience. Some of his milestones include:

• First Assistant United States Attorney and later Special Assistant to Senator Edward M. Kennedy and a Commissioner of the Massachusetts Commission Against Discrimination, one of the three oldest state anti-discrimination agencies.

• Visiting Professor at the University of Mississippi School of Law in 2000, teaching Civil Rights and Legal Ethics. He is an adjunct professor at New England Law Boston, where he is teaching Civil Rights this semester.

• Co-authored a civil rights casebook and written more than thirty chapters, articles and op-ed pieces.

• One of the Civil Rights Division lawyers of the 1960s honored with the 2009 Humanitarian Award of the Choral Arts Society of Washington at its Annual Tribute to Dr. King.

• Even as a retired trial judge he is an adjunct professor at New England School of Law. His work has been published in the Boston Globe, Commonweal, the Jackson Clarion-Ledger, the Encyclopedia of African-American Culture and History, various law reviews, and other periodicals.

• Martin is a graduate of Roxbury Latin, Harvard College and New York University School of Law and lives in Boston, Massachusetts, with his wife Stephanie.

In addition to his career activity and contributions, Judge Martin and his wife Stephanie, his partner in life and his career, now enjoy the four citizens of the world they raised and the reward of grandchildren.

 

The Stories Of Ordinary Heroes In Landmark Civil Rights Case

The Stories Of Ordinary Heroes In Landmark Civil Rights Case

ABOUT THE BOOK“Count Them One by One: Black Mississippians Fighting for the Right to Vote,” is a comprehensive account of a groundbreaking case where a lawyer and a community were united to bring down one of the most recalcitrant bastions of resistance to civil rights.

The author, Judge Gordon Martin Jr. interviewed the still-living witnesses, their children, and friends. Having been an onsite witness himself Martin intertwines their modern day reflections with his own expert and vivid commentary about the case itself. To any reader’s delight, the result is a clearly passionate mix of reportage, oral history, and memoir about a trial that fundamentally reshaped liberty and the South.

 

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Honore Gbedze with Helena Kaufman receiving the Award

Helena Kaufman The Afro News Writer of the Year 2010

 
Honore Gbedze with Helena Kaufman receiving the Award

Honore Gbedze with Helena Kaufman receiving the Award

Helena Kaufman  TAN – The Afro News Writer of the Year 2010 Coming to The Afro News with 30 years experience as a freelance writer with a strategic marketing and public relations practice, Helena generously applied many of her talents in the service of the paper. Read the full story

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The Written Thank You – Its Art and Advantage

The Written Thank You –Its Art and Advantage

The Written Thank You – Its Art and Advantage

The Written Thank You – Its Art and Advantage

How do you feel when you get that real kind of hold in your hand invitation addressed especially to you?

Now imagine how you’d feel opening a handwritten Thank You note. Honoured? Special? Read the full story

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Cpitalizing on Cnversation

Courtesy as Conversational Capital

Cpitalizing on Cnversation

Cpitalizing on Cnversation

Do you have the feeling that people who have ‘the gift of the gab’ as we popularly call easy conversation skills, attract more friends and clients? Well, you would be right. Studies show that skill doubles their rate of attraction. Read the full story

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First Annual Sage Awards and The Afro News Celebrate the 2010 Community Contribution Recognition Awards

First Annual Sage Awards and The Afro News Celebrate the 2010 Community Contribution Recognition Awards

First Annual Sage Awards and The Afro News Celebrate the 2010 Community Contribution Recognition Awards

First Annual Sage Awards and The Afro News Celebrate the 2010 Community Contribution Recognition Awards

SPECIAL EVENT COVEREAGE TAN  :

Invited guests gathered to honour both the roots of The Afro News and to mark the First Annual Sage Awards at the Hilton Hotel at Metrotown on January 28, 2011. The agenda included a reception where 70 members of the community hand the opportunity to mingle and also to meet the honourees. The awards were sponsored jointly by The Sage Foundation and The Afro News (TAN). Read the full story

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Professional Capitalizing on Conversation Photo KMG

Courtesy as Conversational Capital

Professional Capitalizing on Conversation Photo KMG

Professional Capitalizing on Conversation Photo KMG

Communication Culture

Do you have the feeling that people who have ‘the gift of the gab’ as we popularly call easy conversation skills, attract more friends and clients? Well, you would be right. Studies show that skill doubles their rate of attraction. That means that they are capitalizing on conversation, a skill that impacts everyone’s professional and personal potential in a business or social networking environment. Read the full story

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