keeps the communication channels open Photo by KMG -TAN :The Afro News

Not fluent in the local language? Shy? This doesn’t prevent you from understanding or transmitting messages. As humans, we can not, NOT communicate and we desire communication.

When you don’t have the advantage of the local language, or the ability to use a common language, however, it is useful to be aware of non-verbal messages. It is generally accepted that only 7% of communication is through the words we choose. A full 93% relies on tone and body language.

Here are a few of our tools for interpersonal communication without words. See if you have already naturally used them to interpret messages in your own language or another:

Face. In North America we expect direct eye contact. It establishes a sense of trust and we feel we can detect untruths or lack of sincerity because we believe the face reveals what is really being said.

Covering the face with fingers while listening or speaking might indicate something is being hidden. Making faces or supporting the face with hands might indicate impatience or doubt about the message being heard. We like visible faces to gauge the many muscles messages.

What needs to be considered are colleagues for whom direct eye contact is not culturally comfortable or sometimes permitted. As facial muscles tell their own story, we are generally most confident when the face and eyes match each other as well as the message. Otherwise, we don’t feel that we are on the same ‘page of intent’. The message may be suspect.

Voice components such as tone; convey interest, attention, sincerity or other emotions. An unnaturally high voice or one that quavers or cracks, no eye contact, and no matching face do not support confidence in a person’s message. Ever noticed how your level of trust in a person’s ability or sincerity the more their voice goes up at the end of a sentence?

This thinning of the voice and higher note at the end of a sentence gives an impression of insecurity or lack of conviction of the speaker. Young people and women in particular have this challenge. Listen for the rise at the end of a sentence. Doesn’t it signal a question to you? The tendency is to rule out the speaker as a ‘light weight’ who seems to be asking permission or for some validation, rather than delivering a statement of fact.

Speed of speech, should be adjusted to convey focus and attention on the person being spoken to. Clear, unrushed speech allows a person to absorb your phrases. It shows an interest as well as respect to the effort of communication. Given the many possible cultural and geographic origins of people speaking even one language, steady and attentive is the way to the most successful sending and receiving of a message that is mutually understood!

Silence can speak volumes. Giving a person enough time to formulate a response and express themselves affirms that you are experiencing the other person. New Canadians often say people ask how they are but don’t really wait for the answer and therefore appear as if they don’t really care.

You may have noticed that North Americans might simply respond, “I’m great” or, “Fine thanks” to the question, “Hey, how are you?” Culturally, they offer the greeting and question but are not likely to give, nor do they want, a long answer. Deeper connections naturally, warrant deeper communications.

Gestures somehow paint a picture and ‘punctuate’ the message. Facial expressions and the tone you use help build rapport. People gesture with their hands in a variety of ways or may do so in combination with shoulders that shrug or sink or move along with twisted lips, or puckered ones, or ones that allow sounds of joy or exasperation to escape.

Even a subtle movement of an eyebrow can indicate a great deal of information, such as; doubt, surprise or a happy response. Closing the eyes, rolling them may emphasize relief, frustration or dread.  Read carefully. If you are confused, ASK. Clear communication is the goal no matter what the mode. Right?

VIP: Your very important point to wrap up with is that, ultimately, rapport is a strong measure of success in communication. It means you are working for mutual understanding. When you are in rapport, each party feels understood, or accepted. At the very least they feel heard and that keeps the communication channels open.

Helena works with new Canadians and established professionals, entrepreneurs and service providers to define their message so that it makes them money and helps them get the results they want.   http://helenakaufman.com Twitter, Face Book or invite her on LinkedIn  @HelenaKaufman

Effective Email

Manage Your Signature Block and Reap the Benefits

 Part 3 of 3 on Effective Email

 The signature block at the bottom of your mail can seal the deal you have set up in the content of the body above it and in the magnetic message your subject line carries. All this should have gotten your mail opened and read and that brings us to the signature space.

The signature block alone won’t sell your readers on your product, service or idea. It does, however, tell the world how you want to be identified and contacted. As it sits just below your last paragraph, which likely has something to move your readers to action, it might be the clincher.

The action you request of your readers may be to buy, sign up, call, learn more, ask for a brochure, set up an appointment… I think you see where this leads. Your duty then is to make it easy for them to follow through. Make it easily to see how to contact you.

WHAT you need to create an effective email signature:

●    Your name

●    Your company name

●    The telephone and if applicable fax number

●    Your email address with ‘clickable’ or active hyperlink

●    Your website address if you have one, again with ‘clickable’, active hyperlink

●    And an active hyperlink to the signup page of my newsletter

●    Optional and an opportunity is to put in a line promoting one of your services, a special offer, a link to your newsletter, or anything your readers might want to know about. Perhaps even a good quotation!

Do provide the information that will make it easy for your readers to say YES and to act. Don’t make them hunt for the way to get in touch with you, ask questions or place orders.

WHY it’s important for you to have a standardized signature block:

●    Your potential and current clients and friends will know exactly how to contact you

●    It’s a no cost, good marketing tool

●    You can promote special offers

●    It can drive traffic to your website

●    It tells people who you are and what you do

●    It’s fun and useful as a modern day ‘calling card’ for social or business courtesy culture

HOW to make it readable:

●   Select from fairly standard fonts. Colours and fancy fonts may not translate well from one mail                 system to another. You may have noticed North Americans favour ‘Times New Roman’ and Europeans seem to favour Arial. You can be creative and interesting. Test it out and see what happens.

●   You may want to use your official logo or colours. This reinforces your image and identity. Ensure that the block is a fixed graphic, designed and permanently installed so that it always appears without variation.

READY to set up your signature?

Get set up for the first time or revisit and adjust your signature. I’ll share the steps in my system. Others are similar.

In MS Outlook

1. Drop down the Tools menu.

2. Open Options

3. Select Mail Format

4. Select Signature Picker

5. Then, click on ‘New’ and then enter a name for your signature i.e. Business

6. Click on ‘Next’ and design your signature in the blank box. You can control the font, font size, and text color

7. When done, click ‘Finish’. Check your signature in the preview window. You can always edit by going back.

8. Satisfied? Click OK.

9. Make sure that ‘Use this signature by default’ box has the name of your new signature in it.

10. Click OK! And Send away securely.

VIP Your very important point on signatures in email is ‘make it automatic’. Every original, reply or forward email will carry your identity and relevant information. One caution: keep the length to six or seven lines so it does not distract from your actual mail, or seem longer than your message! Be consistent, interesting and complete in your signature. It alone sends a message about who you are!

Helena works with executives, service providers and business owners who want to define their message so that it makes them money and gets them the results they desire in print, in person and online.  http://helenakaufman.com Twitter, Face Book @HelenaKaufman Invite her on LinkedIn and take advantage of an active business network.

Helena Kaufman Writer of The Afro News Photo By KMG

By Doug Krentzlin

Helena Kaufman, writer and communications trainer, provides a customized communication service that meets today’s need for speed and clarity.

She helps diverse clients who need to get their message out to various stakeholders – media, customers and even effective internal communications. Helena operates as a one-person service with team members called in as needed on projects. Her firm, Helena Kaufman & Associates, provides original writing, editing and teaching of the same to small groups and individuals. It offers experience with many mindsets, vocabularies and cultural variations, which can include age, linguistic, religious or geographic diversity. “We work with what clients have and where they are now and help them move to where they want and need to be,” says Helena, “I’m now most interested in editing, writing, inspiring confidence and coaching others to communicate well, in person, on the page or online.”

The events that led to the creation of Helena Kaufman & Associates are a story in itself. “I graduated with a degree in Political Science (Dean’s Honour Roll) from the University of Winnipeg, in Canada. I began a retail floral business, sold my interest after a year and took a job from 1978-82 as Sales Coordinator at the Winnipeg Convention Centre, then Canada’s flagship meeting, trade show and convention facility,” Helena explains, “My meeting and events planning expertise led to my one-woman firm as PR strategist, marketing maven, sole founder and producer of two trade shows. Twenty-five years later, I was still publicist for my very first client and writing award-winning marketing materials for others. All along, I continued my education on media technology, promotional materials distribution, literacy tutor training, and various writing courses from business to performing arts. With training to teach adult education, I ultimately transformed a quarter-century career in creating communications strategies into teaching entrepreneurs how to access such success for themselves.”

“At all times I have been a writer first, inspired to help others shine and succeed in their efforts to inform, persuade, sell or to influence their audience to act for a good and worthy cause,” she adds. “There is skill and honor in all types of good writing, even though at times I didn’t fit in with other ‘real writers’ of fiction and poetry. Now they have names for us. We are technical writers. Copy writers. I called myself a business writer from the beginning. It differentiated me and by instinct I knew it roused curiosity and further inquiry. It is also where I got my first and very real start. Writing from age 12 or so on until today where I use my versatility in and love of the English language to help others express themselves in business and in life. I’ve come full circle.”

Helena credits her parents and life circumstance as being major influences for her line of work. “Necessity has often been the mother of both my creative invention and my attention to action,” she says, “In terms of my skills and inclinations, they appeared very early. As the youngest in a family of European immigrants to Canada, I was thrust into the role of translator and interpreter of cultural nuance as well as language in administrative, business and government details and documents for my parents and in the family business. They modeled a strong work ethic and I saw first hand the cross-cultural challenges of people from another country, or even region, and the value of language and adaptation to communication. This influences and informs everything I do or the messages I frame for clients.”

As for plans for the future, “I have launched 2 new websites, www.helenakaufman.com and www.hospitalityambassador.com,” Helena details, “Until now they have functioned as my testing ground. I’ve tried out various messages, learned about programming and design to understood the ‘hows’ and ‘whys’ of content and layout. This has helped me help my clients and now I’ll have the real designers take over for it to showcase my services. Both sites will actively feature regular posts, packages of services dealing with writing or in person communication. It will synthesize a cross cultural emphasis, communication must-haves and new media as this is both the global and local reality.”

“They say ‘there is nothing new under the sun’,” Helena says in conclusion, “I believe the creative process is the limitless human energy and imagination that takes existing colors, concepts and language and communicates them as new ideas and perspectives by reordering and reinterpreting elements others might not even have been aware of. It is the portal to discovery by doing. As a writer, I know it to be very physical experiences that begins in the mind yet calls on all my senses and insists I affect them in others.”

http://ofteninspired.com

——————————————————————————–

Doug Krentzlin is a professional freelance writer, guest lecturer and actor living in Silver Spring, Maryland, with his cats, Buffy and Angel. He writes an entertainment blog for Examiner.com (Classic TV Examiner) and has had articles published in the New York Post and Movie Maker Magazine. Doug can be reached at dkrentzlin@hotmail.comThis e-mail address is being protected from spambots. You need JavaScript enabled to view it .

Difficulty Of Getting Message Across To Anyone Photo By KMG

Did Lady Gaga’s lyrics from her hit song ‘Telephone” attract your attention? A lesson lies here in on the difficulty of getting message across to anyone at a time when everyone is so bombarded by technology’s quests for pieces of our time and mind. We may even turn down requests for human contact, if it comes via electronic means.

“La Ga” mastered the art in her media. When attention is granted, however, we must all deliver content of value be it visual, verbal, as text on social networks or in email. Of the mini message options, versus old style correspondence, email is the one most often used to exchange business information and to complete sales.

No less powerful for how fast they are exchanged, or how compact they are, emails account for the bulk of our communications in most workplaces. In surveys, roughly 70% of managers, support staff and professionals admitted they feel overwhelmed by the volume.  Here’s how to get your message opened, read and hopefully dealt with, favourably.

E-ffective email success tips -  Part I

In the absence of opportunities to engage or influence at in person meetings, or even on the phone, your mastery of composing the brief, clear and interesting Email is critical.

Think about your news, message or personal status update as a headline. Can you capture the essence of your message as in headline form? Try it. This challenge yields big rewards.

Email success is measured by its ‘open rate’. Your #1 goal is to get readers to open your mail rather than disregard or delete it. Your secret to success is your subject line.

Emails that offer informative and effective subject lines get opened. Adopt and apply the headline attitude to create interest grabbing emails.

How to write great email subject lines

◦ Identify yourself — Increase your open rates by including your name, or brand. If the ‘From’ space does not carry your name, include it in the subject line. Sending a regular e-zine? [Put its name in this format]

◦ Keep it Short — Keep the subject line to 50 characters or less to expose your message fully to the reader’s eye.

◦ Choose your words well— Eliminate unnecessary words taking up valuable space. Check punctuation, spelling and take out symbols like the ! and the $ which can transmit a ‘spam’ connection.

◦ Keep it Simple — You have a split second to entice readers to open your email, clearly state what they can expect inside.

◦ Create urgency — Prompt readers to open your mail and take action by setting a deadline on the content or offer inside.

And just like in the video our headline was taken from, well thought out messages can transmit positively, while bad words and form can be, poison.

In part 2 we’ll look at the body of your mail and part 3 will deal with your signature block.

VIP: Your very important point is to remember to update your subject line if the content of your exchange of several emails has changed topics. You can keep the continuity of information while presenting the current conversation topic, for easy reference.

Helena works with executives, consultants and business owners to define their message so that it makes them money and helps them get the results they desire in print, in person and online.  http://helenakaufman.com Twitter, Face Book @HelenaKaufman.

Do You Have Them at Hello? What to do to make people like you, ASAP.

By Helena Kaufman,The Afro News Vancouver

Do you recall the movie scene where Tom Cruise, plays an ambitious, upstart sports agent, trying to impress a rather ordinary girl next door type played by Renée Zellweger? He is stopped dead in his stuttering tracks by her saying: “Stop. You had me at hello”

Those memorable words moved the romantic plot of ‘Jerry MaGuire’ yet that same critical ‘hello’ moment influences people in your own social and work life. It is what influences them to give you their time and attention–long enough to get your message across about yourself, or your product or service.

How much time have you got?

People determine whether they know, like, or trust you within a small window, milliseconds wide. The step beyond getting attention is attracting and keeping someone’s interest. It is said that our brain registers an impression in 1/20th of a second. It processes the data for another 1/5 of a second. We consciously formulate an opinion within 7 seconds.

Our new, modern human attention span then only allows us about 30 seconds to capture another’s interest and keep their attention.

It’s all about connection. To connect is a very human desire with many benefits. We want to be thought well of, want to feel good in the company of others. That personal security is hard wired in our original, primitive brain. That’s the part that is concerned purely with survival. It acts as the gatekeeper who instantly decides if we are safe with a person, if we like them and if they appeal to our most basic interests.

Knowing that 93% of our interaction involves non-verbal messages and only 7% are the actual words also confirms our need to first appeal to the most basic levels of safety and human self interest. Once people determine that they like us, they are more open to our messages.

Practice with real people

To summarize, it is best to step into an interaction with a positive attitude, to greet people sincerely, to shake hands confidently, to make eye contact, to create rapport and to communicate clearly.

Each encounter, whether on the phone or in person, is an opportunity to practice your best techniques. February in particular brings you up close and personal with lots of people, known and new, at Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day and various corporate and community events and campaigns. Put your heart into your communication and try out the full diversity of your skills. Tell me how you did!

VIP: Statistically, 2% of any group may never like or accept you– for no known reason, to them or others. Stay positive and give your attention to the 98% open to getting to know you.

Next time-how to get people to like you moves from in person to on paper!

Tips on tapping the moment

1. Attitude speaks volumes before you even open your mouth. People will feel if you are warm, curious, patient pleasant, interested, engaging, confident, supportive or enthusiastic. Be conscious of a positive mindset.

Do remember that you send advance signals with your posture, tone of voice and eye contact.

2. Greeting leads into information exchanges. Will you be giving a monologue or creating the opportunity for dialogue? Ask questions. Pay attention and focus more on listening actively and genuinely.

3. People like people like themselves. For that introductory moment of communication, emphasize a common interest you share. It could be as simple as an experience, a holiday spot or your tastes in music.

 While it is important to be yourself and authentic, take note of your listeners’ body language, tone of voice and even their words. It can make for a more harmonious instead of a clashing kind of conversation.

Helena is a business writing and conversation trainer. Contact: www.hospitalityambassador.com, www.helenakaufman.com , Twitter, Face Book @HelenaKaufman.

Porscia Yeganeh at Vancouver Fashion week 2010 open Gala Photo By KMG

By Helena Kaufman The Afro News Vancouver

Spring’s arrival usually awakens a desire for fresh fashion to express our renewed energy. For Porscia Yeganeh it’s the time when her much anticipated show of styles, separates and suggestions for practical elegance is unveiled. Her signature style is captured in her label’s motto, Inspiration for Simple Beauty. The beauty of her gifts includes the inspiration Porscia herself exudes in the pursuit of her art.

Porscia’s participation in the annual Vancouver Fashion Week is how the young Iranian-Canadian designer came to prominence. Her loyalty to VFW’s support and the reputation it helped her build has her returning yearly since 2002 with a new collection. This is where she began to appear on Top 10 lists of new and innovative fashion designers to watch.

Each success is Porscia’s personal interpretation of style and creative expression, but she also serves as an inspiration to others interested in sharing their own visions. To new Canadian immigrants, to youth and to forward looking talents waiting in the wings to express themselves and to succeed, she is a shining local example. Her passion shows one path that can be taken towards success and contribution to society.

By graduation from Fashion Design and Technology at Kwantlen Polytechnic University in 2002, Porscia had already stepped onto the runway. A request to model for a friend in a fashion show near Whistler led to other opportunities. Soon after she appeared after models had strutted her own creations on the runway at VFW.

 Her designs have graced actors on the red carpet at the Toronto Film Festival and models at the Miss Universe pageants in 2007 and ’08 for whom she sponsored wardrobes. In 2003, she made the leap to launch Porscia Fashion Inc. She chose the name both for herself and her distinctive designer apparel brand. Her vision includes well constructed, simple clothing with fine details. This year, the collection again showed minimal accessories, fine fabrics and neutral colour choices with little interference from patterns to fully flatter a woman’s silhouette, while hiding any flaws.

From doll clothes designer at age 6 using pillow cases to creator of chic yet conservative silhouettes to flatter contemporary women, Porscia has come a long way. What’s ahead for the young designer?

Porscia plans to produce high quality, upscale women’s apparel first. The future may include men’s and children’s clothing as well as accessories and shoes. For Porscia the 8-10 year cycle of brand building typical to the fashion industry has started in Italy. A foothold in fashion conscious and trend setting Europe, would then lead to a proper launch next in New York, Los Angeles and of course, Canada.

For more information on this forward looking Canadian fashion designer visit: www.porscia.com

Rosalind Sadowski, chair of the planning commitee for the event Photo by KMG

By Helena Kaufman The Afro News Vancouver

On March 11, 2010 Oxfam UBC held its Hungry4Change fundraising event. Diners from all age, occupation and socio-economic groups came out on a rainy Vancouver night to Heritage Hall on Main Street. Their presence supported the student-run club at the University of British Columbia whose local efforts raise awareness on critical global issues.

Event organizers briefed guests on the condition of more than a billion people of the world’s people living in precarious and vulnerable, food insecure situations. Diners were asked about their perceptions of food in the world and at their immediate tables.

The reality of the world’s disproportionate distribution of food was clearly demonstrated via the evening’s menu, and by way of its service. It was clear that every bite matters as event participants were seated in three distinct groupings. The group deemed to represent the affluent, 15% by world standards was served an appetizer salad and a meat based meal with more vegetables. The more vulnerable to disaster but managing 25% group got vegetable stew. Both groups enjoyed attentive table service and had water and bread baskets replenished often by student volunteers.

The majority 60% seated together only on chairs, were first asked to wait till the tables of the more well off were served. They were then asked to line up for their food which consisted of a bowl of rice and lentils doled out from a communal caldron.

Keynote speakers Dr. Alejandro Rojas, of the UBC Faculty of Land and Food Systems, Amarjeet Gill, Head Cook of Vij’s Restaurant, and Meeru Dhalwala, Co-Owner of Vij’s and Rangoli Restaurants focused on food insecurity from each of their community and culinary perspectives.

Student and guest speakers focused on the need to educate people and especially youth on the cycle of food. Their aim is to retrain attitudes and appetites towards sustainable choices and practices now and in the future.

All proceeds went to Oxfam Canada. To donate or for more information email: ubc.oxfam@gmail.com

Communication Culture Photo By KMG

Helena Kaufman ,The Afro News Vancouver

We last looked at tips on getting people to like you fairly soon after meeting so that you have the opportunity to share more of your message or perhaps begin a personal or business relationship.

Today’s challenge? How to transfer all that in-person energy and positive potential to paper? How can we capture the communication blend of eye movements, gestures, body language and tone of voice when we sit down and write?

Some of it translates. Words, punctuation, sentence length and even layout can help animate your message in your absence, by remote on paper or online in text. You can affect the speed and understanding of a reading of your message. You can even influence the reader to see, hear and feel through images you conjure with your content.

The Dipster

You’ll be given a chance, just as you are by a live audience, to get your message out. Today’s reader however, demands that you do it faster – up front and in short order, literally, as they no longer dutifully read from start to end.

They “dip”. Typically they’ll dive into your copy, surface, maybe skim and dip down again to read more only if you present clear, to the point and appealing content. What are they looking for? News, offers, information and suggestions of interest to-them! Self interest is the engine that moves they eye and keeps your readers’ interest on your message.

Rapport can be written in. You can create interest, as if you were there, even when you’ve written in an entirely different time and place than where your reader is receiving your message.

VIP: A very important point is to envision your ‘conversation partner’ while writing. Friend, client or family member–imagine them. Remember no matter how many hits on your website or how many brochures you choose to print, your communication will always be received by ONE person at a time. Imagine that one and write to them, personally.

Tell me how you did! Next time: How to hang these tips and attitude on a success structure.

Helena is a business writing and conversation trainer and coach. www.hospitalityambassador.com,

www.helenakaufman.com , Twitter, Face Book @HelenaKaufman.

 In-person to print shift – advantage and attitude

You can edit your words and refine your message, before you go public. After all, your impression and the imprint of your message may last a long time. The advantage is that you are generally not limited by time, access to language supports (grammar, thesaurus, and consults with colleagues) or possibly your anxiety about public speaking.

Let’s review some of the elements present during in-person communication, what some people call chemistry, and how we can adapt them to written content:

Make it Personal

Face-to-face, you show your interest and capture your conversation partner’s. In writing you can also show interest in their point of view, ask questions and offer ‘conversation’ or in this case correspondence that speaks to what your reader needs or wants specifically to know. Readers will feel your interest in them.

Try to use both the attitude and the word “YOU” more than the word “I”. Make your message about your reader and they will stay with your text longer and will not break “eye contact” with you and “walk away”.

Image

Your wardrobe is one way you project an image. With written content your choices are the colour and quality of the paper, font size, font style and all these plus background images for your website or email.

Consistency and visual appeal are the messages and information normally presented by your wardrobe, team look, business card or physical setting. In writing it’s your signature closing with complete contact information and the graphics that support your message.

Tone

In the absence of your voice your word choice will represent if you are formal, informal, open to humour or use of slang or regional language. Punctuation helps relay emotion (!!) such as enthusiasm, emphasis, surprise (??) doubt, intrigue.

Pacing

Short, to the point sentences keep a reader moving from one to the next. This gets your message out in manageable lengths and keeps reader interest. If you can’t say your sentence out loud in one breath – then it’s too long!

Space

Just as speakers give each other space to breathe, think and speak, so writers use white space. Your layout should not crowd the eye. Space in the margins, between paragraphs and around the text allows thinking room and shows the readers how much focus or time might be needed. Honour this need to entice longer reading.

Sage Foundation Launch Reception, Senator Mobina Jaffer, Honore Gbedze, Senator Yonah Martin (keynote speaker)

Helena Kaufman The Afro News Vancouver

Sage Foundation saw its official launch on Friday, January 29, 2010 at a by-invitation dinner at Metrotown’s Hilton Hotel.

Guest speaker, the Honourable Senator Yonah Martin shared news and stories derived from a lifetime in education and cultural and community initiatives, as well as those of her own family’s immigrant experience. Education was the prime piece in the adjustment to Canadian language and culture. It served as the critical link towards opportunity and contribution in the immediate and larger world

A pre-dinner reception, hosted by The Fort Wine Company, offered tastings of British Columbia’s premier fruit winery’s newest dinner and dessert wines.

Founding board members and new community supporters met and mingled enjoying both business and social networking moments. An announcement of Sage Foundation’s Honorary Board of Directors saw the addition to advisory capacity of the Honourable Senator Yonah Martin, Heather Holden, Wealth Advisor at Scotia Macleod, Deirdre Heim, Editor in Chief of the Afro News and G.M. of the newest Holiday Inn and Helena Kaufman, Communications Trainer and MC for the evening.

After dinner, a six minute documentary on the Sage Foundation and its founder Honore Gbedze was screened. The presentation was produced in its entirety by rising, young film maker, Paul Macharia. In addition the new website was unveiled by designer Gaffur Remitallah on the screen at www.sagefoundation.net.

Honore Gbedze, founder of the Sage Foundation closed the evening’s celebration of community, innovation and commitment. He shared his message of empowerment of youth to pursue education and opportunity through community support, thus creating a better future for all.

Communication Culture Photo By KMG

By Helena Kaufman The Afro News Vancouver

Do you recall the movie scene where Tom Cruise, plays an ambitious, upstart sports agent, trying to impress a rather ordinary girl next door type played by Renée Zellweger? He is stopped dead in his stuttering tracks by her saying: “Stop. You had me at hello”

Those memorable words moved the romantic plot of ‘Jerry McGuire’ yet that same critical ‘hello’ moment influences people in your own social and work life. It is what influences them to give you their time and attention–long enough to get your message across about yourself, or your product or service.

How much time have you got?

People determine whether they know, like, or trust you within a small window, milliseconds wide. The step beyond getting attention is attracting and keeping someone’s interest. It is said that our brain registers an impression in 1/20th of a second. It processes the data for another 1/5 of a second. We consciously formulate an opinion within 7 seconds.

Our new, modern human attention span then only allows us about 30 seconds to capture another’s interest and keep their attention.

It’s all about connection. To connect is a very human desire with many benefits. We want to be thought well of, want to feel good in the company of others. That personal security is hard wired in our original, primitive brain. That’s the part that is concerned purely with survival. It acts as the gatekeeper who instantly decides if we are safe with a person, if we like them and if they appeal to our most basic interests.

Knowing that 93% of our interaction involves non-verbal messages and only 7% are the actual words also confirms our need to first appeal to the most basic levels of safety and human self interest. Once people determine that they like us, they are more open to our messages.

Practice with real people

To summarize, it is best to step into an interaction with a positive attitude, to greet people sincerely, to shake hands confidently, to make eye contact, to create rapport and to communicate clearly.

Each encounter, whether on the phone or in person, is an opportunity to practice your best techniques. February in particular brings you up close and personal with lots of people, known and new, at Chinese New Year, Valentine’s Day and various corporate and community events and campaigns. Put your heart into your communication and try out the full diversity of your skills. Tell me how you did!

VIP: Statistically, 2% of any group may never like or accept you– for no known reason, to them or others. Stay positive and give your attention to the 98% open to getting to know you.

Next time-how to get people to like you moves from in person to on paper!

Helena is a business writing and conversation trainer. Contact: www.hospitalityambassador.com, www.helenakaufman.com , Twitter, Face Book @HelenaKaufman. 

Tips on tapping the moment

1. Attitude speaks volumes before you even open your mouth. People will feel if you are warm, curious, patient pleasant, interested, engaging, confident, supportive or enthusiastic. Be conscious of a positive mindset.

Do remember that you send advance signals with your posture, tone of voice and eye contact.

2. Greeting leads into information exchanges. Will you be giving a monologue or creating the opportunity for dialogue? Ask questions. Pay attention and focus more on listening actively and genuinely.

3. People like people like themselves. For that introductory moment of communication, emphasize a common interest you share. It could be as simple as an experience, a holiday spot or your tastes in music.

 While it is important to be yourself and authentic, take note of your listeners’ body language, tone of voice and even their words. It can make for a more harmonious instead of a clashing kind of conversation.